The Magical Journal of Jason

If you could travel back in time to spend a day with someone, who would it be and why?

Yes, that seems to be the auto-inserted Writer's Block question. And I'm bored! So I'll do the cop out thing here and not pick anyone famous at all. No presidents, hardcore badass knights with giant flame jet deflecting shields, not even the king of tiny Sparta.

I think if I could travel back in time and spend the day with someone, I'd go back to Valentine's Day this year and spend that day with Andrea. We each sent some very heavy love letter type things and I get way too teary just thinking about it. The only thing that could have made the words we exchanged better I think is if we could have spent that whole day together afterwards. Other couples take their Valentine's Days for granted I imagine, since they at least get to see each other all the time.

The day I spent would have made my heart explode into bloody chunks of happy and muscle tissue and confetti. Basically the only thing that can make you feel better after spilling all of those things out there to them, is to have them say you make them feel the same.

I posted this in a forum I administrate at, and figured I'd paste it for all to enjoy!

"My Christmas gripe this year is that somehow Christmas is going to be even worse this year than last year. Last year we didn't "have" a Christmas. We had a tree, sure. But come Christmas day, there was nothing under it (because that's apparently what it means to live the American dream).

This year, we can't even afford a tree, the last thing we had to at least remind us that it was indeed Christmas time. That has gone beyond tragic. That's fucking pathetic.

Some may say Christmas is a time for good will toward men, and to those people I say fuck you. It's a lot easier to be brimming with good will when you've got things. It's not quite so easy for a have-not to say anything more than fuck you to all you money-havers come holiday time.

That's this year's Christmas Gripes.

Feel oh-so-fortunate you're not me right now, every one of you.

Now go back to your money, your things, and your BS. I hate all of you."

It really did come from the heart! Yes, so since this is my journal and I can write what I want to, I decided that having no money can make someone very bitter and angry at times. What a terrible system where whoever has more pieces of printed paper gets to live their lives, while those of us without have to live in sub-par world. I hope, I pray that while everyone else is opening their shiny wrappers on Christmas day and getting some neat junk they asked for, they suddenly get struck with the chill of imagining me sitting here at home, no Christmas, no nothing, sitting here at my six year old computer, all I have, while I eat Ramen-buttfuck-poverty-food and lament my drab existence. And I hope it ruins their day just this once, where almost every day of my life has been ruined just because I'm poor.

I love very few people anymore and you know who you are. The rest of you... I hope you burn in hell. All that money in your pockets should serve as great kindling.

So I guess it's been since forever that I actually posted in this POS. So let's fast-forward one year later and say that most of the crap I said in previous entries is probably non-applicable at this point. Asthma's gone; like it just doesn't exist anymore. And I'm only half-bitter nowadays instead of full-on. It's much better to be a balanced human being.

Will I ever update this regularly?! The world may just never know.

Let's get one thing straight.
I.
Am.
Power.

I saw this kid walking down the sidewalk near a local WalMart. We both bumped into each other, and before we know it, we're challenging each other to a duel. Not just any duel. At first, he shouted "LEVEL 23 DWARF KING!" and swung this cardboard axe around like he was some sort of midget ninja. I decided to follow suit, shouted "LEVEL 47 DARK MAGE!", spit a fireball at his face, and he died as his body was flung against WalMart like a smoking ragdoll. Funny how those things go... The real lesson here is don't challenge someone unless they're about two or three levels within your range. It was unfortunate what I had to do, but them's the breaks, kiddo.

My life is slow. So very slow. I'm surprised some days that I'm able to tie my shoes. That is, the few days I ever need to wear my shoes. The fact of the matter is, I saw a robot yesterday. A robot that walks. This amazing robot did things I couldn't comprehend, things like somersaulting, rotating his torso slowly, and waving his arms around like he was swatting at flies that weren't there. What I'm trying to say is, technology has come a long way. We've gone from things that have a clear purpose and do their jobs, to things that sound cool on paper and have absolutely no use except humor value. If I want an intelligent human-like slave, I'll buy a gorilla.

Please, no autographs...

I'm reading up on this gay-ass driver's manual. It truly is a waste of my time... after going through six hours of reading this piece of crap I only learned one thing, and that is that there's no reason I shouldn't burn the book for warmth on a cold rainy day, much like today.

If it wasn't for the cold part, I'd go out there and stand in the rain, too. And I'd drink some too, because I can't afford beverages like you rich people.

Anyways, I hope to at least have sat in the driver's seat of a car before I turn fucking 19 in April. I mean, lordylordy, I can't FUCKING DRIVE. Everyone else drove at 16 or 17. Not that I have any interest in being like anyone else, mind you. I am the aura-filled glowing godly Jason, damnit. But still.

Peace, negros. ...Haha, I said negro.

...I'm an ass.

......My manhood is larger than average.

Yeah so I figured I'd just update this sucker. Nothing ever goes on in my life thanks to a lonely existence, but I could always make up something. That'll make me feel slightly better.

After rappelling down from my steel fortress, I figured I'd make pancakes on a giant turtle's back. He backtalked me, but I slapped him and told him to shut up. After pancakes, I took my huge yacht out on my own private ocean and wrestled me a whale. I took the whale home, made him into soap, and got rich and had skanky women all over me. I told them I only liked nice girls, and they walked away sad. But as they walked into the sunset, I said "Hey! Listen...." and their faces lit up... then, I threw each of them a bar of soap and said "..If you want, you can have these, take a bath for once!"

What a great day.

I'm going home. After spending 2 months down here under the idea that it'd be easy to find a job, everyone I've gone to isn't hiring. I can't stand the ridiculousness of it, so I'm going back home. Tioga homeslices, beware, sexy Jason will be back soon to steal all your women...

Oh man I hate asthma so bad. It quite practically ruins my life... imagine just, for no reason, not being able to get enough oxygen into your body, no matter how hard you breathe in and out, then having it cause you to go into a slight panic. It's awful. Yesterday I had to go through a whole day of the worst asthma I've ever had. It was also one of those episodes that lasts all day, regardless of whether or not I take my medication. It makes it impossible to even sit in a chair and relax.

Give me life-threatening cancer any day...

Anyways... today it isn't so bad... it got a lot better but for some reason I still am getting agitated quickly by walking around for a few minutes. Usually I have to take a long walk or climb a few flights of stairs before I get heavily bothered. Oh, I need a hug...

Well, looks like I finally found a color scheme that'd make mother proud (Even though she doesn't see this...) and tossed a few random links up. By the way, I saw Castro, as in Fidel Castro, fall off stage and break his knee on the news, and then I laughed. It was great. Er.. anyways.

And another great thing is when I moved with my dad I didn't bring an DVD's with me (That's not the great part). However my mother is sending me a big box with The Matrix, The Matrix Reloaded, Pirates of the Caribbean (Because my mom is finally done with her Pirates binge - She watched it like 6 times in a row), and a whole bunch more goodies that I forget. Plus I really need to get this damn job TODAY, not tomorrow, or the day after, because the sooner I start working the sooner I can get a half-decent video card in this computer. You can't get far with a 2.5ghz processor when there's only integrated video, remember that. And if you don't know what the hell I'm talking about, well.. welcome to my journal.

Fun fact: Hugh Hefner has three wives.

Funner fact: I have FOUR.